April Beatles
by Caroline
Summary: [GCR] Response to GraveshiftCSI's April challenge. A Beatles songfic. Grissom deals with the repercussions of a poorly-timed confession. COMPLETE
1. Do You Want To Know A Secret

  
  
APRIL BEATLES

Chapter 1/7: "Do You Want To Know A Secret"  
Spoilers: "Bad To The Bone" (418)  
Song: "Do You Want To Know A Secret" by the Beatles (italicized and asterisked as always).  
The GraveshiftCSI April challenge: a Beatles songfic. Or rather, a series of songfics... Catherine and Gil and unresolved tension abound. (All told in Gil's perspective)

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You'll never know how much I really love you

I see her there and my heart skips a beat. She has no idea. All these years, she's had absolutely no idea. All these years, I've kept it inside, telling myself that it wasn't the right time. Well now, it's definitely not the right time... she's with somebody else. But for once, I don't care. It has to be done.

You'll never know how much I really care

Hearing her on the phone with him was the last straw for me. I've gotta tell her, and I've gotta do it now, before I lose her for good. So I stroll up to her, confident as I can possibly be in this moment, and gently grasp her arm... telling her I need to see her in my office for a moment.

Listen...

She quirks one eyebrow upward adorably in question, but follows me to my office nonetheless, throwing a quick glance at the others over her shoulder as she does so. From the look on her face, you'd think what I had to tell her would be a confession of murder. I'm hoping what I really have to say will get a better reaction out of her, though.

Do you want to know a secret?

We head down the corridors of the lab, several people trying to stop us on our way with new information about our case. Not now. I've gotta do this before I lose my nerve... and before everyone in the lab finds out what I'm doing.

Do you promise not to tell?

I wave everybody away and tell them that it can wait, and this is what really alarms Catherine. I never push work aside, so obviously, what I have to say is of the gravest importance. She lets me pull her into my office by the arm, my hand releasing her to close the door while she spins to face me, her hair fanning out around her briefly. She's gorgeous.

Whoa, closer...

A smile escapes her beautiful, glossy lips... a smile that she only shows to me... as she asks what's on my mind. It's more like what ISN'T on my mind... everything we've shared for the past eighteen, almost nineteen years is riding on what I'm about to say.

Let me whisper in your ear...

I start out by telling her that she's my best friend... after-which I'm awarded with a bright, brilliant smile. She knows, she tells me... and lets me know that I'm her best friend as well. I smile, feeling a little bit more confident. Maybe I'm just being nervous for no reason. This is Catherine, after all.

Say the words you long to hear... I'm in love with you

She asks me if I'm okay and I don't know how to respond. Of course I'm not okay... I'm completely in love, and that scares the hell out of me. If I tell her what I need to tell her... and she responds positively, I'll be exposed. She'll have my heart in her hands completely, and I've spent my whole life making sure nobody achieves such a goal.

Listen... do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell?

The way she's looking at me, I'm suddenly reminded of a moment not too long ago when we had a fight. She'd cashed a check written to her by Sam Braun... something that could highly be construed as taking a bribe... and we just sort of went off on each other. She got upset and left. Later she showed up in my doorway, looking all glammed up like she was about to go out... and asked me if we'd be okay.

Whoa, closer... let me whisper in your ear...

I'd blinked slowly and licked my lips... much like I'm doing right now, and I'd told her that we'd be fine. Now I'm standing before her, assuring her that I'm fine... and deja-vu has settled over me like a storm cloud. How long will I go on pretending that things are fine? I've gotta stop now.

Say the words you long to hear... I'm in love with you

I let her name tumble from my lips, and she smiles. She does this every time I say her name, and I love it. It makes me feel like she enjoys hearing me say it. And maybe she does... who am I to know for sure? I say her name again, but this time, her nickname... Cath. I think she loves this even more. I gently let her know that I've got a secret I need to tell her.

I've known a secret for a week or two

Concern floods her angelic features like the tide washing over a beach, and her teal eyes search mine as she asks what it is. Her expression now almost looks pained... as if what I'm about to say is going to be horrible. Oh, I'm desperately hoping it's not.

Nobody knows, just we two

I tell her to relax... that my secret isn't something awful or life-threatening... and this seems to calm her somewhat, but the concern is still clearly etched in her eyes. She asks again what it is, and I take a deep breath. This is it... can't turn back now.

Listen... do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell?

When my eyes drift to the floor, trying to muster up the courage to go on, she steps up to me, nearly toe-to-toe, and places her hand on my cheek, drawing my eyes back up to meet hers. When they do, she smiles reassuringly, letting me know that I can tell her, no matter what it is. Alright Cath, you asked for it...

Whoa, closer... let me whisper in your ear. Say the words you long to hear...

After another deep breath, I let it out slowly, and lay all my cards on the table. I tell her point-blank, staring straight into her guileless eyes, that I'm in love with her. And I watch in horror as her smile drops.

I'm in love with you

Her hand leaves my face, and she takes a step back from me. Oh God. My thoughts are echoed as she mutters the same, her voice in a whisper. What the hell have I done? I call out her name, my voice coming out small... meek. Damn me. And this time, when she hears her name, she doesn't smile. Her eyes are far-off... vacant... as if she'd just heard her dog had died.

She shakes her head and starts toward the door, deflating any ounce of self-worth I'd held in one willowy, feather-light whisper... "I gotta go."

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CONTINUED IN CHAPTER TWO: "You've Got To Hide Your Love Away"


	2. You've Got To Hide Your Love Away

  
  
APRIL BEATLES 

Chapter 2/7: "You've Got To Hide Your Love Away"  
Spoilers & Summary: See ch. 1

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I can't believe it. I just can't believe it. She walked out on me. I laid my heart on the line, and she steam-rolled it. I shake my head, as if trying to shake off a trance, and turn to face the wall, rubbing my hands over my face to ward off the oncoming emotions.  
  
_Here I stand head-in-hand, turn my face to the wall_

"I gotta go..." That's all I get? After everything we've been through, that's all I get? I spin to face the door, double-checking for her presence... knowing that her being there would be wishful thinking, but I do it anyway. And she's still not there.

If she's gone I can't go on, feeling two foot small

I sigh and head out into the hallway, glancing both ways for her. When I turn my head to the right, I see the door to the parking lot. My head screams at me that that's where she is. And when I turn my head to the left, I see my three CSIs, just staring at me warily. Did they see the way Catherine rushed out of here? That look of utter... panic, maybe?...on her face. Do they know what happened?

Everywhere people stare, each and every day

No, they couldn't possibly. If they did, they'd probably be laughing their asses off at me right now, just for being so stupid. They'd say, "Gris, why the hell did you do that?" or "You know, you probably shouldn't have done that." Yes, I know... I know too well that I should've just kept my mouth shut.

I can see them laugh at me, and I hear them say, 'Hey, you've got to hide your love away'

I should've just kept everything inside... hidden it away. If I had, maybe I'd still have a best friend.

Hey, you've got to hide your love away

How am I gonna be able to face her, now? Everytime I see her, she's gonna have that same look on her face. The pity... the sadness, and... anger? Was that the other thing that was in her eyes? I can't be sure. Everything happened so fast. Damn me. I just can't win.

How can I even try, I can never win

And I know she's seeing somebody... that's part of what was so stupid about this whole thing. What if I have to meet him? What if she brings him by the lab, and they both look at me with pity in their eyes? How am I gonna be able to face them? I can't... especially now. Now that I'm just this broken, distorted shadow of the man I wanted to be.

Hearing them, seeing them, in the state I'm in

And I blame Catherine for all this. Yeah, that's the way to go. I'll blame Catherine. It sort of IS her fault, in a way. She and I always used to have these really deep discussions about love... and fate and destiny. She always said that, "True love always finds a way." So, like an idiot, I bought that idea... and tried to prove its truth today. But she was so very wrong.

How could she say to me 'Love will find a way'

Now here I am, sure to become the laughing stock of the crime lab in a matter of minutes... and all because she said it would work out. I see Greg coming towards me, waving a sheet of paper in his hand, a big stupid grin on his face.

Gather 'round all you clowns, let me hear you say, 'Hey, you've got to hide your love away'

Oh, no. Did HE see Catherine run out of here, too? Shit. If HE knows what's going on, the entire state of Nevada will soon find out. Fine, then. Let the humiliation begin.

Hey, you've got to hide your love away

Maybe it would be best to go through the humiliation now. Maybe... if their laughing and taunting breaks me enough... it won't hurt so bad when I have to see Catherine again.

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CONTINUED IN CHAPTER THREE: "I'm Looking Through You"


	3. I'm Looking Through You

  
  
APRIL BEATLES

Chapter 3/7: "I'm Looking Through You"

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She's finally back. She'd taken a week off after my big embarrassing confession... to avoid me, perhaps? To spend time with her new lover? I have no idea. All I know is this woman standing in front of me is not Catherine.

I'm looking through you, where did you go?

This isn't the woman that I've called my best friend for eighteen years, nor is it the woman I fell in love with. I have no idea WHO she is... and maybe I don't wanna know. She made quite a drastic change in one week, however.

I thought I knew you, what did I know?

She still looks exactly the same. Nothing about her physical appearance has been altered in any way. It's her attitude. Her personality. She's become more... icy, almost? More detached.

You don't look different, but you have changed

When I looked into her eyes before, I saw affection, friendship, and trust... among a myriad other things. Now, looking into her eyes is like looking at a block of ice. Unemotional, cold. It's like I can see right past her.

I'm looking through you, you're not the same

She's talking to me now and I'm not hearing a word she's saying. I just keep wondering if it was me who caused this drastic change in her. Is it me? I cock my head slightly and watch the movement of her lips, trying to pretend that I'm paying attention... but my mind just keeps wandering. Is this all my fault?

Your lips are moving, I cannot hear

I know I shouldn't have said anything, but... I honestly thought things would've turned out differently for us. I never thought that telling her I loved her would reduce me to nothing... that her presence leaving the room on that day would have taken my soul with her.

Your voice is soothing, but the words aren't clear

I know this isn't the person she wants to be. I know that acting like an icy bitch is how she copes. I know all this. I've seen her do it to other men before. She's the exact same person she was before, but she purposely distances herself. I know the game. I know it well. I just never thought I'd be her opponent in it.

You don't sound different, I've learned the game

And now her eyes are icing through me again... and once again I'm looking through her as she keeps calling my name. I miss you, Catherine, please come back to me... my mind begs her. But she doesn't listen. All she does is lets out a huff as I still have not acknowleged her calling me... and turns on her heel to leave.

I'm looking through you, you're not the same

The kids now know what's going on. It became all-too-obvious after Catherine had stormed out of my office and then taken the next week off. The kids have changed, too. When they're alone with either Catherine or myself, their efforts to keep a light mood are strained. And when Catherine and I are in a room together... they walk on eggshells. Why is this happening? Why did she have to walk away?

Why, tell me why do you not treat me right

If she doesn't love me, then she doesn't love me. But this sudden change in her personality and her demeanor isn't helping anybody. It's making the kids nervous, and frankly... it's worrying me a little.

Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight

The thing that worries me most is knowing that she still looks at me the same. I'm still Gil... I'm sure she still calls me her best friend. And there's even this little part inside me, gnawing away at me, telling me that, despite what she did... despite the fact that she walked out on me, that maybe she DOES love me.

You're thinking of me the same old way

But she's so cold. She's so very cold to me now. To all of us. I don't know what to do. In normal circumstances, if it were one of the kids acting like this, I'd lecture them about not bringing their personal problems to work and taking it out on the team. But in this case? I AM the personal problem... that she has to see everyday at work.

You were above me, but not today

So I can't lecture her. I can't put her in her place. I'm the cause of her abrupt change in attitude.

The only difference is you're down there

So for now, what am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to just keep looking past what's going on? Looking past how she's treating the team? Looking past HER?

And I'm looking through you, and you're nowhere

What am I supposed to do? If I'm the cause of this whole debacle, how do I fix it? You can't exactly take back an 'I love you.'

Why, tell me why do you not treat me right

Once it's out there, it's out there. You can't take back your total disregard for somebody's personal relationships, either.

Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight

I knew she was dating somebody, and yet I told her how I felt. That has to be what's got her so steamed. Because, if she'd been single, she would've said it back, right? Or did I wait too long?

I'm looking through you, where did you go?

So many questions in my head, and I know that she's the only one with the answer key. So for now, I'll do what I do best. I'll run.

I thought I knew you, what did I know?

Sure, it's cowardly. Sure, I should be a man and just sit her down to talk... but I don't care. My body's kicking in that fight-or-flight thing... and I'm leaning toward the flight. I can't face her now.

You don't look different, but you have changed

And my final thought, as I head out to the parking lot... has shivers crawling down my spine more powerful than her icy stare could manage. I don't know who she is anymore.

And I'm looking through you, and you're not the same

Maybe I never did.

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CONTINUED IN CHAPTER FOUR: "Misery"


	4. Misery

  
  
APRIL BEATLES

Chapter 4/7: "Misery"

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Slamming the door to my townhouse, I drop my stuff by the door and head for the couch, flopping down with all the melodrama I can muster. I think I've gone through enough. I think I deserve an 'oh-woe-is-me' attitude.

The world is treating me bad, misery

Every time I see her, I want to just cry. And that's a lot, coming from me. I know I'm an unemotional man. I trained myself to be like that. But what's been happening is just too much for even the Tin Man to take, and I feel tears sting my eyes.

I'm the kind of guy who never used to cry

I hate this feeling. I hate feeling like my life is out of control. I spend so much time making sure everything is going like clockwork. But one little let-down from the love of my life and suddenly everything's a downward spiral.

The world is treating me bad, misery

I can't believe I've ruined this. I can't believe I single-handedly destroyed everything I held dear to me in my life. She becomes more distant by the minute, and I'm sure it won't be long before her letter of resignation is atop my pile of paperwork.

I've lost her now for sure, I won't see her no more

I don't know what I'd do if she left CSI. Not being able to see her face everyday would slowly kill me. Although, seeing that icy glare every day is slowly killing me too. I wonder which would kill me faster.

It's gonna be a drag, misery

I think back to happier times... when I didn't act impulsively and ruin things. When we were in love with each other, there was no doubt about it, and nobody said anything about it. Back to when we could flirt openly with each other... feeling that rush, that childlike giddiness of being around your favorite person and speaking a language that only the two of you know.

I remember all the little things we've done

Back to when we had a connection. Our connection. Can't she feel that connection? Can't she tell, just by being in the same room with me? By feeling the energy that has always leapt between us ever since we met? I could never have that with anyone else... and I doubt she could, either.

Can't she see she'll always be the only one, the only one

I just wanna turn back the clock. I wanna take it back to a week ago, when I'd pulled her into my office to tell her that I loved her, and just... not. Not say anything incriminating. Not say something that would subsequently cause my whole world to implode. I just wanna go back to when she would let me be around her... to when she was glad I was around.

Send her back to me, 'cause everyone can see

I just want something, ANYTHING, to happen that will bring her back to me. I can't take this anymore. This isn't how we were meant to be. We were meant to be together... in love. Everyone knows it. They may not say it, but it's evident. They know. A person who was blind, deaf, and mute would know. Does SHE know?

Without her I will be in misery

My mind once again drifts to all the wonderful times we shared, each one connecting to the last in a string of blissful memories. The first to jump into my mind is the moment she came back from Miami, having just closed a case that had started in Vegas, and led us on a wild goose chase to Dade county. The banter we so easily passed back and forth. Like playing an intimate game of catch... a game that we only played with each other. And that smile she tossed at me as she left my office can still send my stomach cartwheeling. The next is when I had my surgery. The sound of her voice drawing my eyes to the doorway and then being allowed to feast on her image... standing casually in the doorway with that angelic smile on her face. God, I love that smile. And then the sound of her voice as she told me she just wanted to see me... and wish me 'good luck.' That little 'good luck' said more than any amount of 'I love you's ever could have.

I remember all the little things we've done

Then how close we got this year... except for recently. All the little back and forth flirting we'd done. Her seductive little comments in the viewing room about my 'tough act'... how the townspeople in Jackpot, Nevada continually called her my wife. Everytime they did it, I'd get butterflies. I was in no hurry to correct them. Then how I pressed her up against the Denali after hearing an explosion... wanting to shield and protect the one thing in the world I valued over my own life. Her. Does she not remember all this? Won't she eventually uncover all the evidence I've already documented and filed away in my brain that proves how perfect we are for one another? I'm just hoping that when she does, it won't be too late.

She'll remember and she'll miss her only one, lonely one

Oh God. Just that thought alone makes me sick. Her being too late. No. I don't want that to happen... I won't let that happen. God, I just need to see her. Please... just somehow, send her to me. Send her to me and let us talk. Let us repair all the damage that's been inflicted on our relationship.

Send her back to me, 'cause everyone can see

Because I can't live without her. I love her... and dammit, I don't care how she acted. She loves me.

Without her I will be in misery

A knock at the door catches my attention, and my heart bumps into my throat. Is this a cruel joke? Or have my prayers been answered? As the knock steadily increases in volume, I head for the door, taking long strides to ensure I get there in time. Let it be her.

In misery

When the door opens, I gasp... and practically choke on the air I'd swallowed. Is this my second chance, or one last twist of the knife?

My misery

She meets my eyes and allows a tiny smile to escape, then brushes past me to head into the townhouse. My head follows her, and her name escapes my lips in a breath. "Catherine..."

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CONTINUED IN CHAPTER FIVE: "We Can Work It Out"


	5. We Can Work It Out

  
  
APRIL BEATLES

Chapter 5/7: "We Can Work It Out"

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Two hours ago I felt my heart beating again. Two hours ago she walked into my townhouse, breezed past me, and turned around to meet my eyes. Two hours ago we started arguing. Now we're still in our corners... me still cemented to my spot by the door while she paces back and forth in front of the couch.

Try to see it my way, do I have to keep on talking 'til I can't go on

We've been arguing and arguing, and it's to the point now where my voice is getting hoarse. I want some water. But she's so damn stubborn. We're not taking a break until we've got everything resolved... and I do mean everything.

While you see it your way, run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone

I want to work things out between us, I really honestly do. But if she's only gonna see things from her perspective, then I can't see us resolving anything in the next year or two. I've explained my side to her... and she knows I've told her everything. I've apologized for waiting so long, for being so cowardly, but explain as gently as I can that I don't know what else she wants from me. Does she even know?

We can work it out

And then I see it in her eyes. She knows what she wants. Now how can I get her to tell me? Right now, all she's doing is yelling at me... about my timing, mainly. I know my timing is awful, I know that. I've apologized as many times as possible for how awfully I handled things. I can't do much more than that.

We can work it out

She's still pacing in front of the couch, her tone starting to change. She starts telling me as she shakes her head that we've wasted so much time. Now where did that come from? I thought she was pissed at me because I told her I loved her when she was seeing someone else. But that doesn't seem to be coinciding with what she's yelling at me. She's mentioning Eddie now, and as discreetly as I can, I roll my eyes.

Think of what you're saying, you can get it wrong and still you think that it's alright

I hate when she mentions Eddie. That jerk never treated her right, and never in a million years did he deserve her. Then, all of a sudden, she starts yelling all this at me... as if reading my thoughts verbatim. How did she do that?

Think of what I'm saying, we can work it out and get it straight or say goodnight

And then the next thing she says really makes my heart fly out of my throat... why hadn't I said something when she was with Eddie? I gulp and ask her to repeat what she'd just said.

We can work it out

This is when her features soften... her confrontational stance relents. She starts making her way over to me. She tells me that if I would've said something when she was with Eddie, this whole mess between us could have been avoided.

We can work it out

I can't believe what I'm hearing. Once again, I ask her to repeat it... and I know I sound like an idiot, but I don't care. I need to be absolutely sure of what she's saying. __

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

I need to know, one-hundred percent, that she's saying what I think she's saying. I've realized one-too-many times this year that life is just too damn short... and we can't keep dancing around this. So I've gotta know... and I've gotta know now.

I have always thought that it's a crime, so I will ask you once again

She's standing right in front of me now... and by the way she's smiling, I don't think she's all that mad at me, anymore. Maybe it's a mood swing. Either way, it's fine by me. I hate it when we're mad at each other... even though seeing her furious is quite the aphrodisiac.

Try to see it my way, only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong

Now we're toe-to-toe, and butterflies are going wild in my stomach... hopefully in hers, too... at our close proximity. She's staring into my eyes and sliding her hands up my chest, which incites me to raise my hands to the small of her back. I dare to pull her closer. To my surprise, her smile grows. She again reads my mind with what she says, as she softly tells me that life is just too short... and bad timing is no reason to let everything we have fall apart.

While you see it your way, there's a chance that we might fall apart before too long

She says all that matters is that we're here... that we're honest with each other... and that we both know we love each other. My eyes widen at this, and search hers in question. When she nods slowly, her glossy, enticing lips spreading into a smile... I know. And just to reassure me, she whispers her love for me.

We can work it out

So I kiss her, and it's amazing. Her hands immediately find my face and pull me closer... if that were even possible. Before I even need to ask permission, she jumps into my arms and commands me to take her to the bedroom. Well, like I'm gonna argue with that.

We can work it out

I kiss her again as I walk toward the bedroom with my Catherine wrapped tightly in my arms... and I can't help but grin against her lips. I love it when we make up.

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CONTINUED IN CHAPTER SIX: "Something"

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	6. Something

  
  
APRIL BEATLES

Chapter 6/7: "Something"

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I'm watching her as she climbs out of my bed, and I roll on my side, my eyes following her as she moves across the room. She's so incredibly graceful. Perhaps it's her background in dance that's given her such grace... lots of practice of fluid movements. Or perhaps her grace is natural... much like her beauty. Either way, I've never loved her more.

Something in the way she moves, attracts me like no other lover

She's the most beautiful creature in the world, and I think it took someone bigger than God to create her. She's not just heaven-sent. It's so far beyond that. And now I finally get to show her how much I love her... how much she means to me, and how attracted I am to her... mind, body, and now soul.__

Something in the way she woos me

She emerges from the bathroom, grinning her wonderful grin at me... that one that toes the line between angelic and just plain devilish... and she curls her finger at me, beckoning me to join her for a shower. I just shake my head and outstretch my arms, and she just laughs, her hair catching in the sunlight as she tips her head back. My beautiful Catherine.

I don't wanna leave her now, you know I believe in how

She shakes her head at me still grinning, and makes her way back to the bed... to my side. There's only one thing I want right now... and no, it's not that. She knows what I want, too. That smile on her face tells me that she knows. She always does.

Somewhere in her smile she knows

She's everything I want right now... and is everything I could possibly need. I came too close to losing her in the past week. I don't ever want to let her go. I find it hard to breathe when she's not around. It gets hard to concentrate. Then again, I don't do much concentrating when she's nearby, either. As soon as I feel her in my arms, I hold her tight to me, kissing the top of her head as she curls back under the covers. I can't possibly fathom being able to love somebody as much as I love her... and I can't fathom ever loving another woman. Come to think of it, I don't remember loving anyone before I met her.

That I don't need no other lover

She lifts her head up to smile at me, and I kiss her wonderful lips. They're still swollen from all our kisses... the passion that passed between our mouths during our lovemaking. She's never looked so beautiful to me... and when I tell her this, she just smirks and rolls her eyes. My sexy Catherine.

Something in her style that shows me

I pull her flush against me once more and dust her face with kisses, while she giggles and playfully struggles against me. I can't help but laugh. She really brings out the softie in me.

I don't wanna leave her now, you know I believe in how

After stopping my playful face-kissing with a passionate kiss to my lips, she pulls away and stares deeply, seriously into my eyes as she asks what will happen next. I'm assuming she means with us... because she's the one that started the shower, so she should know that's what's coming next.

You're asking me will my love grow

I know exactly what's gonna happen next, but I don't dare tell her. A part of me wants to scream out what I want to happen... but then there's another part of me that's telling me to let her sweat it out. She's played coy with me plenty of times. If she can dish it out from time to time, she's gotta be able to get it back. So I just shrug and tell her that I don't exactly know what's gonna happen next... but I think my grin reassures her that everything will turn out okay.

I don't know, I don't know

I tell her I want us to take things slow and see what happens... although that's the last thing I want. And suddenly I can see in her eyes that's the last thing she wants, too.

You stick around and it may show

I ask her if she expected a different answer... and she's staring off into space now, looking solemn, just shrugging her slender shoulders.

I don't know, I don't know

I reassure her that we'll be fine... and that we just need time to adjust to this. When she turns and meets my eyes, she dives right past them... and suddenly I'm sure she can tell what I'm thinking. She knows what the plan is. She always knows. My brilliant Catherine.

Something in the way she knows

I know she can see the twinkle in my eyes... and hers suddenly start to twinkle back. If she does know what the plan is, she's gonna let me have my fun. I can tell that much... from her eyes, and her smile. The grin on her face is almost of a smug nature. Like all the times in the past she's caught me while I was thinking about her. It's that exact same grin.__

And all I have to do is think of her

After kissing my lips tenderly once more, she pats my chest and pulls away... the feel of her warm, naked flesh leaving mine causing me to exhale in an agonized groan. She felt so good. She smirks knowingly and strokes my cheek... probably loving the feel of me as much as I love the feel of her.

Something in the things she shows me

As she heads for the bathroom... giving me a fantastic view along the way... she turns over her shoulder ever-so-briefly and quirks an eyebrow... her devilish smirk returning to those fabulous lips as she once more beckons me to join her. Along with that beckoning smile comes a mischievous twinkle in her eye... one that is a promise of things to come.

I don't wanna leave her now

So with wide eyes, I jump out of bed and scamper after her.

You know I believe in how

That's all the incentive I need.

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CONTINUED IN CHAPTER SEVEN: "I Feel Fine"


	7. I Feel Fine

  
  
APRIL BEATLES

Chapter 7/7: "I Feel Fine"

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I can't believe how happy I am. Especially after the week of hell I'd gone through a month ago... that tortured rollercoaster. It was worth it. It was all worth it. I never thought I was capable of feeling such happiness... such completeness. And it's all her fault. She's so wonderful... so incredibly good to me.

Baby's good to me you know

Our relationship started slow, much to both my dismay and hers... as we worked through our issues, past and present. Now, everything is smooth sailing. I'm happy... and what's more important, so is she.

She's happy as can be you know, she said so

She says so at least twice a day, if not more. Just a contented sigh... then she says my name, which I never grow tired of hearing from her lips... and tells me she's so very happy.

I'm in love with her and I feel fine

I can't believe how much I love her. Right now, I miss her. I really, truly, miss her... and she's right by my side. Her hand is in mine... but God, I miss her. I'm such a buffoon. Is this what love does to a person? I can't get this goofy smile off my face... no matter how much money Nick and Warrick have bribed me with to stop. And no matter how often I hear Greg call me a doofus under his breath... I can't stop smiling.

Baby says she's mine you know

Catherine has made it clear that she is mine... that she belongs to me. Well okay, maybe that sounded possessive, but... I'm just going by what she says. And does, for that matter. The winks, the cute little smiles... the discreet affection when nobody's looking. She wants everyone in the world to know we're together.

She tells me all the time you know, she said so

And not only that, she tells me that she'll always be mine... no matter what. She'd been doing this for a few weeks as of recently, and this is what spurred me to put my plan into action... the plan I'd been formulating since the moment we shared our first real kiss.

I'm in love with her and I feel fine

It's going quite fast, and I know that. I know I'm rushing things a bit, but... when you stop and take into consideration how long Catherine and I have known each other, and how long we'd been playing the back and forth 'will-they-won't-they' game... is it really moving things that much faster? Besides, I'm hopelessly in love.

I'm so glad that she's my little girl

I thank my lucky stars every moment I'm graced with her heavenly image that I can call such a beautiful creature 'mine.' I'm so grateful to whatever higher power brought her into my life. She changed me the first moment our eyes met, and since then, I've been striving to be a better man.

She's so glad she's telling all the world

Not that she would want me to change... she tells me she loves me the way that I am. And that she loves everything about who I am... good, bad, and everything in between.

That her baby buys her things you know

And I'm so grateful. I'm watching her now as she moves across the hall and excitedly chatters with Sara, our surrogate teen 'daughter', and one of the lab techs... Leah. About what, I'm not yet certain... but I can definitely venture a guess.

He buys her diamond rings you know, she said so

My suspicions are confirmed when she lifts her left hand, and a sparkle enters my line of vision. Twin screeches leap out of Sara and Leah, and I can't help but chuckle at this. She's been beaming ever since I proposed to her lastnight. She's been grinning almost as much as I am, and has suddenly developed this childlike giddiness... like when we take Lindsey to carnivals, or surprise her by picking her up from school together.

She's in love with me and I feel fine

And I can tell by all these things... by her giddiness over our new engagement... by the fact that she can't stop smiling... and by all the wonderful things she says to me... that she's definitely in love with me, and that we are most definitely going to be together forever.

Baby says she's mine you know

Now Nick and Warrick have stopped by the lab where my Catherine is chatting with Sara and Leah... and both men are chuckling at the looks on all their faces. Nick's making some smart-ass comment to Catherine about her grin... telling her he's going to start offering HER money to stop smiling. But his joke falls flat as she holds up her left hand and renders the boisterous Texan speechless.

She tells me all the time you know, she said so

Nick is the first to grab her for a hug while Warrick is still consumed with asking Sara and Leah what's going on... managing to get in a couple of flirts with Leah in the process. I shake my head and smile as I watch this. Being in love makes you see everything in a completely different way. It makes you look at the people around you, and their relationships with each other, in a completely different way.

I'm in love with her and I feel fine

I've noticed, for one, that Warrick has been paying Leah an awful lot of attention lately. And those little looks between them haven't gone unnoticed, either. And then there's Nick and Sara. How did I never notice the possibilities between them, either? This is all Catherine's fault.

I'm so glad that she's my little girl

She's my godsend, my angel... and she's ruined me from my grumpy, cynical, withdrawn demeanor. I'm actually fun to be around now, I guess. At least that's what Sara tells me. And Greg's not so afraid of me, anymore. Pity. I was always rather amused with how intimidated he was by me. Catherine did all of this.

She's so glad she's telling all the world

I watch as Warrick finally turns his attention to Catherine, after following Sara's prompt... and when Catherine holds up her left hand to Warrick, grinning widely, his eyes widen and he crushes her in a hug, kissing the top of her head. The kids are so happy. She so desperately wanted to call each of them lastnight and tell them, but I'd made her promise to wait until we got in tonight.

That her baby buys her things you know

I catch my beauty's eye through the glass across the hall that separates us, and she melts into the warmest smile I've ever seen. My heart practically bursts at the sight. I can't believe how much I love this woman.

He buys her diamond rings you know, she said so

She holds her diamond-accessoried hand up in my line of vision while the kids continue to chatter like monkeys behind her... and she grins widely at me, jokingly... crossing her eyes as she does so before she erupts in giggles. I chuckle and shake my head at her. She's such a dork. Such an incredibly loving, intelligent... beautiful and sexy dork.

She's in love with me and I feel fine

And she's my dork. And she's gonna be mine for the rest of our lives. I honestly can't wait. She grins that wonderful 'Catherine' grin at me in that moment, and I know that she's aware of what I'm thinking. She always knows. So she makes her way across the hall to me, our eyes locked on one another's the entire time. I smile back at her and just stand patiently, waiting for her... even though it seems like she's moving in slow motion. She'll get there. I'll get her.

She's in love with me and I feel fine

I've waited my entire life for somebody like Catherine to come along... to reach me. And, as I see my future bride strolling up to me, sliding her hands up my chest as she slowly, very slowly, leans to kiss me... I know I can wait a few more seconds. Catherine is worth the wait.

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FINIS


End file.
